Of Vice and Vicious
by vijuani
Summary: Caitlyn has lost it, and it's up to Vi to fix it...


The deep green pool of the river was still in the late  
afternoon. Already the sun had left the valley to go climbing up the  
slopes of the Iron Spike Mountains, and the hilltops were rosy in the  
sun. But by the pool among the mottled sycamores, a pleasant shade had  
fallen.  
A water snake glided smoothly up the pool, twisting its periscope  
head from side to side; and it swam the length of the pool and came to  
the legs of a motionless heron that stood in the shallows. A silent  
head and beak lanced down and plucked it out by the head, and the beak  
swallowed the little snake while its tail waved frantically.  
A far rush of wind sounded and a gust drove through the tops of  
the trees like a wave. The sycamore leaves turned up their silver  
sides, the brown, dry leaves on the ground scudded a few feet. And row  
on row of tiny wind waves flowed up the pool's green surface.  
As quickly as it had come, the wind died, and the clearing was quiet  
again. The heron stood in the shallows, motionless and waiting.  
Another little water snake swam up the pool, turning its periscope  
head from side to side.  
Suddenly Caitlyn appeared out of the brush, and she came as silently  
as a creeping boar moves. The heron pounded the air with its wings,  
jacked itself clear of the water and flew off down river. The little  
snake slid in among the reeds at the pool's side.  
Caitlyn came quietly to the pool's edge. She knelt down and drank,  
barely touching her lips to the water. When a little bird skittered  
over the dry leaves behind her, her head jerked up and she strained  
toward the sound with eyes and ears until she saw the bird, and then she  
dropped her head and drank again.  
When she was finished, she sat down on the bank, with her side to  
the pool, so that she could watch the trail's entrance. She embraced her  
knees and laid her chin down on her knees.  
The light climbed on out of the valley, and as it went, the tops  
of the mountains seemed to blaze with increasing brightness.  
Caitlyn said softly, "I di'n't forget, you bet, God damn. Hide in the  
brush an' wait for Vai." She pulled her hat down low over her  
eyes. "Vai gonna give me hell," she said. "Vai gonna wish she  
was alone an' not have me botherin' her." She turned her head and  
looked at the bright mountain tops. "I can go right off there an' find  
a cave," she said. And she continued sadly, "-an' never have no case-  
but I won't care. If Vai don't want me... I'll go away. I'll go  
away."  
And then from out of Caitlyn's head there came a little fat old  
yordle. It wore thick bull's-eye glasses and wore a huge gingham  
apron with pockets, and it was starched and clean. It stood in front  
of Caitlyn and put its hands on its hips, and it frowned  
disapprovingly at her.  
And when it spoke, it was in Caitlyn's voice. "I tol' you an' tol'  
you," it said. "I tol' you, 'Min' Vai because she's such a nice  
fella an' good to you.' But you don't never take no care. You do bad  
things."  
And Caitlyn answered her, "I tried, Aunt Clara, ma'am. I tried and  
tried. I couldn't help it."  
"You never give a thought to Vai," it went on in Caitlyn's voice.  
"She been doin' nice things for you alla time. When she got a piece of  
Jinx you always got half or more'n half. An' if they was any case, why she'd give it all to you."  
"I know," said Caitlyn miserably. "I tried, Aunt Clara, ma'am. I  
tried and tried."  
It interrupted her. "All the time she coulda had such a good time if  
it wasn't for you. She woulda took she pay an' raised hell in Jayce's  
house, and she coulda set in a bakery an' played snooker. But she got  
to take care of you."  
Caitlyn moaned with grief. "I know, Aunt Clara, ma'am. I'll go  
right off in the hills an' I'll fin' a cave an' I'll live there so I  
won't be no more trouble to Vai."  
"You jus' say that," it said sharply. "You're always sayin' that,  
an' you know sonofabitching well you ain't never gonna do it. You'll  
jus' stick around an' stew the b'Runeterra outa Vai all the time."  
Caitlyn said, "I might jus' as well go away. Vai ain't gonna let  
me tend no cases now."  
Aunt Clara was gone, and from out of Caitlyn's head there came a  
gigantic casebook. It sat on its haunches in front of him, and it  
waggled its files and crinkled its papers at her. And it spoke in  
Caitlyn's voice too.  
"Tend cases," it said scornfully. "You crazy bastard. You ain't  
fit to lick the files of no cases. You'd forget 'em and let 'em go  
unsolved. That's what you'd do. An' then what would Vai think?"  
"I would not forget," Caitlyn said loudly.  
"The hell you wouldn'," said the casebook. "You ain't worth a  
greased jack-gear to ram you into the void. Cho knows Vi done  
ever'thing she could to jack you outa the sewer, but it don't do no  
good. If you think Vi gonna let you tend cases, you're even  
crazier'n usual. She ain't. She's gonna beat hell outa you with her fists,  
that's what he's gonna do."  
Now Caitlyn retorted belligerently, "She ain't neither. Vai won't  
do nothing like that. I've knew Vai since- I forget when- and he  
ain't never raised her han' to me with a stick. She's nice to me. She  
ain't gonna be mean."  
"Well, she's sick of you," said the casebook. "She's gonna beat hell  
outa you an' then go away an' leave you."  
"She won't," Caitlyn cried frantically. "She won't do nothing like  
that. I know Vai. Me an' her travels together."  
But the casebook repeated softly over and over, "She gonna leave you,  
ya crazy bastard. She gonna leave ya all alone. She gonna leave ya,  
crazy bastard."  
Caitlyn put she hands over she ears. "She ain't, I tell ya she  
ain't." And she cried, "Oh! Vai-Vai-Vai!"  
Vi came quietly out of the brush and the casebook scuttled back  
into Caitlyn's brain.  
Vi said quietly, "What the hell you yellin' about?"  
Caitlyn got up on her knees. "You ain't gonna leave me, are ya,  
Vai? I know you ain't."  
Vi came stiffly near and sat down beside her. "No."  
"I knowed it," Caitlyn cried. "You ain't that kind."  
Vi was silent.  
Caitlyn said, "Vai."  
"Yeah?"  
"I done another bad thing."  
"It don't make no difference," Vi said, and she fell silent  
again.  
Only the topmost ridges were in the sun now. The shadow in the  
valley was blue and soft. From the distance came the sound of Piltoverians shouting to one another. Vi turned she head and listened to the  
shouts.  
Caitlyn said, "Vai."  
"Yeah?"  
"Ain't you gonna give me hell?"  
"Give ya hell?"  
"Sure, like you always done before. Like, 'If I di'n't have you  
I'd take my fifty bucks-'"  
"Of all of Runeterra, Cupcake! You can't remember nothing that happens,  
but you remember ever' word I say."  
"Well, ain't you gonna say it?"  
Vi shook herself. She said woodenly, "If I was alone I could live  
so easy." Her voice was monotonous, had no emphasis. "I could get a  
job an' not have no mess." She stopped.  
"Go on," said Caitlyn. "An' when the enda the month come-"  
"An' when the end of the month came I could take my fifty bucks  
an' go to... Jayce's house..." she stopped again.  
Caitlyn looked eagerly at her. "Go on, Vai. Ain't you gonna give  
me no more hell?"  
"No," said Vi.  
"Well, I can go away," said Caitlyn. "I'll go right off in the  
hills an' find a cave if you don' want me."  
Vi shook herself again. "No," she said. "I want you to stay  
with me here."  
Caitlyn said craftily- "Tell me like you done before."  
"Tell you what?"  
"'Bout the other guys an' about us."  
Vi said, "Finest like us got no fambly. They make a little stake  
an' then they blow it in. They ain't got nobody in the worl' that  
gives a hoot in hell about 'em-"  
"But not us," Caitlyn cried happily. "Tell about us now."  
Vi was quiet for a moment. "But not us," she said.  
"Because-"  
"Because I got you an'-"  
"An' I got you. We got each other, that's what, that gives a hoot in  
hell about us," Caitlyn cried in triumph.  
The little evening breeze blew over the clearing and the leaves  
rustled and the wind waves flowed up the green pool. And the shouts of  
men sounded again, this time much closer than before.  
Vi took off her fists. She said shakily, "Take off your hat,  
Cupcake. The air feels fine."  
Caitlyn removed her hat dutifully and laid it on the ground in  
front of her. The shadow in the valley was bluer, and the evening came  
fast. On the wind the sound of crashing in the brush came to them.  
Caitlyn said, "Tell how it's gonna be."  
Vi had been listening to the distant sounds. For a moment she was  
businesslike. "Look across the river, Caitlyn, an' I'll tell you so you  
can almost see it."  
Caitlyn turned her head and looked off across the pool and up the  
darkening slopes of the Ironspike Mountains. "We gonna get a little place,"  
Vi began. She reached in she side pocket and brought out  
a Hextech Revolver; she snapped off the safety, and the hand and gun lay  
on the ground behind Caitlyn's back. She looked at the back of  
Caitlyn's head, at the place where the spine and skull were joined.  
A man's voice called from up the river, and another man answered.  
"Go on," said Caitlyn.  
Vi raised the gun and her hand shook, and she dropped she hand to the ground again.  
"Go on," said Caitlyn. "How's it gonna be. We gonna get a little  
place."  
"We'll have Jinx arrested," said Vi. "An' we'll have maybe Viktor n' C... an' down the flat we'll have a...ton o-"  
"For the case," Caitlyn shouted.  
"For the case," Vi repeated.  
"And I get to tend the cases."  
"An' you get to tend the cases."  
Ciatlyn giggled with happiness. "An' live on the fatta the lan'."  
"Yes."  
Caitlyn turned her head.  
"No, Cupcake. Look down there across the river, like you can almost  
see it."  
Caitlyn obeyed her. Vi looked down at the gun.  
There were crashing footsteps in the brush now. Vi turned and  
looked toward them.  
"Go on, Vai. When we gonna do it?"  
"Gonna do it soon."  
"Me an' you."  
"You... an' me. Ever'body gonna be nice to you. Ain't gonna be no  
more trouble. Nobody gonna hurt nobody nor steal from 'em."  
Caitlyn said, "I thought you was mad at me, Vai."  
"No," said Vi. "No, Caitlyn. I ain't mad. I never been mad, an' I  
ain't now. That's a thing I want ya to know."  
The voices came close now. Vi raised the gun and listened to the  
voices.  
Caitlyn begged, "Le's do it now. Le's get that place now."  
"Sure, right now. I gotta. We gotta."  
And Vi raised the revolver and steadied it, and she brought the muzzle  
of it close to the back of Caitlyn's head. The hand shook violently,  
but her face set and her hand steadied. She pulled the trigger. The  
crash of the shot rolled up the hills and rolled down again. Caitlyn  
jarred, and then settled slowly forward to the sand, and she lay  
without quivering.  
Vi shivered and looked at the gun, and then she threw it from  
her, back up on the bank, near the pile of old ashes.  
The brush seemed filled with cries and with the sound of running  
feet. Jayce's voice shouted. "Vi. Where you at, Vi?"  
But Vi sat stiffly on the bank and looked at her right hand that  
had thrown the gun away. The group burst into the clearing, and Jayce  
was ahead. He saw Caitlyn lying on the sand. "Got her, by Piltover." He went  
over and looked down at Caitlyn, and then he looked back at Vi.  
"Right in the back of the head," he said softly.  
Ezreal came directly to Vi and sat down beside her, sat very close  
to her. "Never you mind," said Ezreal. "You got to sometimes."  
But Heimerdinger was standing over Vi. "How'd you do it?" he asked.  
"I just done it," Vi said tiredly.  
"Did he have my gun?"  
"Yeah. He had your gun."  
"An' you got it away from her and you took it an' you killed her?"  
"Yeah. Tha's how." Vi's voice was almost a whisper. she looked  
steadily at her right hand that had held the gun.  
Ezreal twitched Vi's elbow. "Come on, Vi. Me an' you'll go  
in an' get a drink."  
Vi let herself be helped to her feet. "Yeah, a drink."  
Ezreal said, "You hadda, Vi. I swear you hadda. Come on with me." He led Vi into the entrance of the trail and up toward the  
highway.  
Jayce and Heimerdinger looked after them. And Jayce said, "Now what  
the hell ya suppose is eatin' them two?"


End file.
